Breathy Bottle

Do you miss your girlfriend? Spending more and more time sulking while gazing mournfully out of a window? Sounds like it's time you ate a breath-mint & posted her a bottle of your minty fresh breath.

For me, if you like in a neighborhood where you need a double barrel shotgun just to stop your television from walking out of the front door, maybe you should save the money on shells and just move somewhere nicer?

Mostly with newborn babies you dress them in a onesie, the all-in-one bodysuit that ensures they’re kept warm and relatively dry but means you can also get access to their diaper quickly when you need to.

We all like adding fuel to the Internet Hate Machine, it helps us feel better about our pathetic shitty lives you bunch of sperm-munching, basement-dwelling moon-faced rat vaginas.

Sometimes you have to go the extra mile to achieve greatness - He did actually impress the girls in his dorm with this idiotic stunt. Of course, bitter irony, he was useless to them afterwards - What a dufus!

Know what an Ibex is? No. Me neither. But this big guy’s certainly pissed at someone or something. Maybe that’s why he’s so annoyed with life – he spends all his time trying to be noticed :(

The ultimate collection of segway fails. Every single one of these is completely incapable of keeping both wheels on the ground and their face off the pavement. There's nothing funnier than a segway crash. Enjoy!

A thousand-frame-per-second camera captures amazing footage of people spraying snot everywhere. Imagine what will happen when the porn industry finds out about this.

Britain's premier sports commentator Anthony Richardson is back to announce this year's Superbowl Semi Finals between Alabama and Notre Dame. Nice of the NFL to include a French team, but the Parisian Cathedral came up short in this thrilling encounter.

It's pretty eye catching, but is it worth the dough? Also, where do the batteries go? It's pretty cool if you're into that kind of thing, but I'd rather have something a bit more functional for my money...

For the hundreds of times I got beaned while at bat its hard to feel sorry for a pitcher getting dropped by a line drive. Not as bad as in the nuts, but some of these balls are going FAST!